Shavua tov, neighbors.

Welcome to issue #61 of Havdalah. It's been a minute since I've piped up. I've been living with grief, both cosmic (which I'll speak on more) and personal (which I won't).

I struggle to formulate a succinct description of what it’s like to be alive right now, something pithy that isn’t understated. You understand why. This country has never been kind, not even particularly polite. But for many of us, including those of us who have never been especially wanted, this place is home regardless — with all that “home” implies. Some days (years) are more troubled than others. I find that for me, the experience of this moment (psychic and somatic) is so ever-present, so vast, and so unlike that acute feeling of suffocation that I know grief to be that it’s at first difficult to identify it as such. It’s dull where I expect it to be sharp, it’s silent where I expect needing to stifle howling or keening, it goes down like morphine where I expect it to choke. It’s heavy not like a boulder, but like a soft blanket of snow. The mourning is not focused backwards, behind me, but ahead of me, less a loss in the past and more a terror of what I still stand to lose. The dreams it sends me aren’t memories made bittersweet; they’re premonitions I’m powerless to truly protect myself against. It’s always nearby, close and intimate as a deathbed companion. It knows every part of me, more familiar than is comfortable. Yet when pressed to name it, it’s too impersonal to confidently call grief. I’ve settled for “hopelessness”, “despair”, “existential dread”. But those words, like grief, gesture at the exact same sensation: an agonizing awareness of a future foreclosed.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Florence + the Machine lately. Her new album, Everybody Screams, was released on Halloween and my roommate hasn’t had respite since. The album is about a lot of things, but nothing more than grief. Since summer, I’ve struggled to balance my navigation of grief(s) with my patience for well-meaning loved ones who insist the map they’ve drawn is the most correct one. In fairness, there’s a lot of landmarks some wise people have notated on my own that I would have completely missed if I had dismissed them all outright. I’m so fortunate to have all my backseat drivers.

But I can always tell when someone is reading me directions off Mapquest and when someone is pointing me ahead with the ease of one who knows these roads well. The thing about the guidebooks is that they assume a destination. The thing about platitudes is that they assume simplicity, inevitability, and a median baseline of “okay” that is possible to “return” to.

Sometimes you don’t want (or need) a hero to pull you out of the hole; you want a friend to climb down and sit with you at the bottom.

For the last two weeks, Florence has been sitting with me in the hole. It’s exactly what I wanted. I don’t need to be persuaded that it’ll get better or it’ll get easier or this won’t hurt forever. I don’t want to hear empty platitudes or emotional forecasts or political soothsaying. I don’t want a strict regimen of hope or a prescription for resilience. I don’t want a backseat navigator; I want a shotgun DJ. I want someone with a knowing look in their eyes to sit with me in the hole for however long. I want no promises made, save for the only one that can ever be kept: the seasons change, the world turns.

This issue, we’ve our usual fare: PrYSM’s Defense Fund is our mutual aid feature for the month, and there’s a Scientific Storytelling Workshop in What’s On? that particularly intrigues me. I know this is often a time of staving off the dark and huddling to hoard the last embers of warmth before winter comes in force. But sometimes I think we need a moment — just a short one, not enough to lose feeling but just enough for a shiver — to stand in the chill, to wait and watch the approaching darkness. To soak in it for a breath, to feel what it’s all about. To accept that our tree lights and our candles do not banish the dark, they only make it navigable. To understand that it’s not easy, that nothing will make it easy. That the point of cold is to feel it. Put on some Florence this November and remind yourself that this is the way of things. There is sometimes no lesson to learn.

Bella ciao.

James

PS: We’d like to hear from you! Let us know how we’re doing!

Scientific Storytelling Workshop: Transform Environmental Policy into Connection.

• When: Wednesday, November 19, 6:00pm-8:00pm

• Where: LitArts RI, 400 Harris Avenue, Unit E, Providence RI 02909

• Environmental advocates are passionate about science, but are competing with misinformation campaigns and every other bill in the RI state legislature, leading to frustration, despair, and disengagement. In this workshop, you'll learn how to break down environmental policy to elements lawmakers truly care about and develop compelling narratives for use in various formats such as testimony, op-eds, and more.

• Please contact Phoenix Wheeler (they/them) at [email protected] with questions.

• Tickets are $35 each.

• Scientific Storytelling Workshop Event Page

Workers and Renters: Providence General Assembly

• When: Saturday, November 22, 12:00pm and every other Saturday

• Where: 134 Mathewson Street, Providence, RI 02903

• From their Instagram:

  • Worried about Trump?

  • Want to defend our communities?

  • Want a world that works for everyone?

  • Come to the Providence General Assembly!

• Spanish, ASL interpretation and childcare available upon email request

• Masking requested and masks will be provided

• Direct questions to [email protected]

• Providence General Assembly

• Workers and Renters Website

The Womxn Project Call to Actions

• Not quite an event, but the Womxn Project has provided a couple of actions to do to respond to the health and food crisis in Rhode Island:

• Call to Action #1: Help Your Neighbor! Let’s build food security for our community into our daily actions!

  • With the expanding food crisis, The Womxn Project, in partnership with the RI Food Bank, RI Food Policy Council, RI State Council of Churches, and Youth Pride, is issuing a statewide call to action, STAT!

  • Every nonprofit organization or for-profit business—from sports teams and scouting troops to art collectives and faith communities—is being asked to include a food collection at every one of their events.

  • In a recent interview with Rhode Island Public Radio, RI Food Bank Executive Director Melissa Cherney reported that nearly 40% of Rhode Islanders are experiencing food insecurity. “RI has many committed non-profit organizations. That means we have the reach and the power to make an enormous difference if we act together. This is how we show what community care really looks like.”  Jocelyn Foye, Executive Director of The Womxn Project.

  • As the smallest state in the nation, Rhode Island can prove it’s also the biggest in heart. This initiative—called “Big Table Rhode Island!”—urges organizations to normalize giving by encouraging attendees to bring canned or nonperishable goods to every meeting, practice, or event, creating a culture of consistent, everyday support for local pantries. Read more

  • Sign the pledge and start today!

• Call to Action #2: Voting Transparency: The Bodily Freedom Forever Index Questionnaires are out!

  • This past week, the Womxn Project sent the Bodily Freedom Forever Index questionnaire to every elected official in our state, from town and city school committee or town counselors, to state reps and senators on up.

  • Through civic engagement, policy advancement, and artivism, TWP takes action to secure reproductive freedom, LGBTQ+ rights, and government transparency in Rhode Island. The BFFI is an ongoing initiative to record and report the stance of each elected official in RI on these issues to promote transparency in our elections.  

  • TWP defines "bodily freedom" as sole decision-making power over one's body, so long as those decisions do not infringe on another’s bodily autonomy.  When evaluating an official's stance on bodily freedom, TWP considers two (of many) issues: support for reproductive rights and support for LGBTQ+ equality.

  • HELP TWP get a response from your local elected officials -- have them fill out the BFFI survey sent to their emails!

• Call to Action #3: Our Rhode Island "Kavanaugh" Problem: An Anti-Democratic Nominee for Judge

  • Earlier this summer the chair of the RI Judicial Nominating Commission (JNC) stated TWP broke precedent for the amount of emails and oral testimony shared against one candidate seeking a district judge position.

  • Why? Michael McCaffrey is an anti-abortion, anti-marriage equality candidate with the separation of church and state being of no concern. After the JNC voted on him and others, they passed the recommendations on to the Governor who "taps" a few candidates, to then go to the RI Senate for a final vote.

  • Since the vote, 3 new district judges have retired making it so there are FOUR positions to fill. All the calls and attention to this from the summer is not lost.

  • We need to call our Senators and say NO to a representative that is not aligned to the majority of RI's values. Remember, there are FIVE names that were passed onto the Governor. Join us in saying no to McCaffrey-"Kavanaugh." Say yes to the four others!

ACLU Rights Explainers

• When: Up now

• Where: Online

• The ACLU just released two updated versions of their explainers about your rights when interacting with immigration agents (ICE) or the police. They have them available in 10 languages: English, Spanish, Portuguese, Cape Verdean, Haitian Creole, French, Swahili, Dari, Pashto, and Khmer.

• Read and save this material – regardless of your own immigration status – and send to friends and family! Click the link below and scroll to the bottom of the page to download PDFs that you can print, plus the ACLU posted on all their social media platforms (@riaclu) if you want to save and share online.

• If you have a specific way to distribute larger numbers of the paper copies, please email the RI ACLU at [email protected] or call them at 401-831-7171. They have a limited supply printed, but will provide as many as they are able.

• ACLU Rights Explainers

PSL Online Course: Let Them Tremble

• When: Tuesdays and Thursdays, November 4-20, 6:30pm-8:30pm EST

• Where: Hybrid online and in person at The People’s Forum, 320 W 37th Street, New York, NY 10018

• This course delves into the history and lessons of the labor movement, and examines why the power of the organized working class has always been central to every progressive transformation in the United States. Together, the class will explore how we can take these lessons and build a bold, fighting labor movement today — one that not only defends our rights but goes on the offensive to win a world organized to meet the needs of the many, not just the few.

• If you are joining virtually, a zoom link will be sent prior to each class.

• If you aren’t able to join classes live, all course materials (including class recordings, readings, and additional materials) will be uploaded to the student portal so you can follow the course at your own pace.

• Registration for PSL Course

Lunch & Learn with Lorén Spears and Robert Geake

• When: Monday, November 24, 12:00pm-1:00pm

• Where: Online (Zoom)

• Join the Tomaquag Museum for their final free virtual Lunch & Learn presentation of 2025!

• From Slaves to Soldiers: The 1st Rhode Island Regiment in the American Revolution: historian Robert A. Geake with Lorén M. Spears tells the important story of “The Integrated First Rhode Island Regiment” from the cause that led to its formation, its acts of heroism and misfortune, as well as the legacy left by those Indigenous and black men who enlisted to earn their freedom, protect their community, fight for liberty, and pursue wider happiness.

• Lunch & Learn Event Page

• Lunch & Learn Zoom Link

Support PrYSM's Defense Fund

📢 Our Southeast Asian communities are under attack — help PrYSM fight back! 📢

Providence Youth Student Movement (PrYSM) is supporting over 70 Southeast Asian refugees with deportation orders. They provide organizing, legal, and community resources for their members and their families to fight against the US deportation machine.

With your support, PrYSM can continue to:

1. provide rapid response for community members detained and facing immediate deportation

2. provide mutual aid for legal fees and services

3. support impacted members and their families during ICE check ins and court hearings

4. provide case management for current and new members with orders of deportation

Donate today to help support the Southeast Asian community!

PrYSM Defense Fund Page

News Round-Up: Local

Trump administration sues Rhode Island over teacher diversity program (Eliza Dewey in PRISM, November 06, 2025)

SNAP Back Rally: Students highlight impact of benefit cuts and demand economic justice and food security (Steve Ahlquist in SteveAhlquist.news, November 11, 2025)

Derisive chants greet ICE agents in Warren (Mike Rego in East Bay RI, November 11, 2025)

R.I. woman detained for over a week at Logan Airport, attorney says (Yvonne Abraham in Boston Globe, November 12, 2025)

UNAP calls on Governor McKee and Secretary Charest to stop interfering in deal to save Fatima and Roger Williams (Steve Ahlquist in SteveAhlquist.news, November 13, 2025)

Pod Recs: It Could Happen Here and Throughline

A New Threat to Public Lands (It Could Happen Here, November 11, 2025)

The Pro Palestine Movement Two Years After Genocide feat. Dana El Kurd (It Could Happen Here, November 12, 2025)

The Mainstreaming of Nick Fuentes by the Coward Tucker Carlson (It Could Happen Here, November 13, 2025)

The Creeping Coup (Throughline, November 13, 2025)

Executive Disorder: White House Weekly #41 (It Could Happen Here, November 14, 2025)